I recently asked somebody who is very familiar with my professional work to write a letter of reference for me. The person responded with: "Write a letter and send it to me for editing." Maybe it's just me but that response made me very uncomfortable. Is it an indirect way of saying the person does not want to bother?
I could see how this response would be appropriate for, say, a student who has taken a course with me several semesters ago. Still, personally, I would not ask him/her to write a letter. Instead, I would ask for a resume (or a CV for more advanced students) so I have more information. Then I would look up my records. And I would (and did, in the past) politely decline to write a letter for somebody I don't remember at all (e.g., too much time has passed, did not work with the person directly).
But telling this to somebody you do know well? I would feel I am offending that person.
So I responded with a polite, "Thank you." And found another person to write a letter of reference.
Did anybody have a similar experience? Am I overreacting?
I could see how this response would be appropriate for, say, a student who has taken a course with me several semesters ago. Still, personally, I would not ask him/her to write a letter. Instead, I would ask for a resume (or a CV for more advanced students) so I have more information. Then I would look up my records. And I would (and did, in the past) politely decline to write a letter for somebody I don't remember at all (e.g., too much time has passed, did not work with the person directly).
But telling this to somebody you do know well? I would feel I am offending that person.
So I responded with a polite, "Thank you." And found another person to write a letter of reference.
Did anybody have a similar experience? Am I overreacting?
3 comments:
While I don't understand that approach, I think it is a common one. Good for you for finding a solution you were more comfortable with.
That is very strange. Sorry! Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting on the Italian Breaded Pork Chops. You should definitely give them a try! We loved them. Thanks again! Have a great day!
That just doesn't seem right. I think you handled it quite well.
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